FRIDAYS WITH NMA…….WHAT YOU SAY

Well this week has had the screening of the ministerial nominees trending. Finally,those guys are good,see as senators just dey fire them question and they did so well. See oppression, i come dey ask myself which level i dey, anyways lets leave that aside. Heck today is Friday and thank God its Friday

Today is going to be more of a discussion, so here is the gist ,its quite lengthy but i would do a summary. A couple had two daughters and the wife had to travel out of the country in search of greener pastures as she was a nurse. As God would have it she fared well and usually sent her husband and the daughters financial assistance. From time to time she comes back to meet her husband and kids. In one of her returns,she discovered that there was trouble brewing between the husband and her daughters. She asked her husband who told her that the girls were upset because he was strict with them and didnt give them the much needed freedom they so desired, the lady was quite happy that the man was doing good,  training the girls only for her to confront her daughters and they blurted out that their father was abusing them sexually. She was shocked and asked if they could repeat the allegation before their father and they did. The father couldnt believe his ears and told his wife that the children were lying but the children were willing to reiterate their statement before their pastor and members of the family. The woman was confused and didnt know who to believe but eventually took the girls along with her as she went back and  severed relationship with her husband. The man continued to beg and claim he was innocent, he lost most of his friends,his job and eventually became admitted in s psychiatric institition. The girls blossomed into beautiful women but were unable to find suitors. After being taken to several churches and prayer houses, it was discovered that they broke a union and have caused pain to someone. The elder of the two girls denied knowing anything but the younger suddenly burst into tears and confessed that they lied against their dad, because he wouldnt allow them to do as they wish. Can u imagine that? So what do u think? Was the woman wrong not to have believed her husband putting in mind that the rate of child molestation is on the increase, what can she do at this point ? If you were the husband what will be your reaction?. So lets talk!

FRIDAYS WITH NMA…………..I FORGIVE YOU

The world teachers day was just celebrated on 5th of October, the celebration made me remember an incident that happened with one of my favourite teachers in primary school. She came in one day and started scolding our class captain, although she didn’t tell us her offence but kept repeating the importance of being reliable and trustworthy. Being the amebo that I was, I couldn’t concentrate in class that day, I needed to get to the root of the matter, and what the heck- they were close, what could have provoked such scolding. I was sometimes jealous of the relationship my class teacher shared with the captain. It was always Funke this! (Not real name) or Funke that! I couldn’t wait for it to be break time to get the full gist. So at break time, Funke told me what happened, the teacher gave her a note to give a fellow teacher but she opened it and was caught by the teacher in the process who in turn reported to my class teacher who was really disappointed. Thinking about it now i realized why my class teacher was really pissed, this was someone she relied on but she just threw the trust out of the window. Funke broke the first rule of every relationship, either between parents and children, between spouses, between an employer and employees. Something about trust is that when it is lost, it is difficult to be regained. It is quite disappointing to be betrayed by someone you trust. Have you ever carried a baby and you throw the child up, do you wonder why he isn’t afraid but smiling and laughing. It’s because he trusts that you would not let any harm come to him. That is the same way it is when someone trusts you and relies on you.

People make mistakes, sometimes very serious ones. What is done is done and you need to just get on with things. In as much as it is difficult to give another chance, i want to encourage those who feel they have been hurt in one way or the other by someone they trusted. What i believe is that one who is sincerely sorry will be indebted to you for the gift of another chance.

I am sure you want to know how it ended between Funke and my teacher, well surprisingly they made up and soon returned to buddies. So dear friend forgive that friend, forgive that spouse, forgive that colleague and let it go, and see how light you will feel. I understand its difficult, especially forgetting but what is forgiving if you keep reminding the erring party of his faults. Why not give a clean slate and watch how things fall into place. Keep moving forward, stop holding back.

CHIDINMA MMADUKA

Guest Columnist

 TEACHERS:  THE REAL HEROES!

A Tribute to all teachers on World teacher’s day!

From ”uncle Friday” in my Primary School days to the one we called ”Stone cold” because of his strictness and zero tolerance for indiscipline down or up to (depending on the position you are viewing this from. Lmao) the one people call: ”Ike man” during my days at Department of Architecture in the University, my experience with good teachers are always the same. You always tend to hate but love them, you never want to miss the drama in their classes, you don’t want to fail their courses or subjects, they don’t deceive their wards/students and they all have zero tolerance for indiscipline.

As a kid, I was once told by one of my big uncles; Prof. Joseph Obi of how his father discouraged him from going to the then prestigious college of Education in Rivers state, My curiosity to know why ended up making me dismayed at the answer his father gave him. I am sure you can guess correctly what the answer was but in case you are not one for guessing, I will tell you. His father told him that teachers are the ones who teach people how to make millions yet are always poor, he argued with my uncle that he will live a miserable life trying to make a teaching career because the government never releases their peanuts until after several strike actions. All these discouraged uncle Joe and after several years of looking for that “life changing job” with his now late late father described, Uncle Joe ended up in the states where he still followed his dreams. He started as a college teacher whilst continuing his education. Today, he is a professor of English at one of the biggest universities in America. Apart from been the financial backbone of his family, Prof Obi has encouraged his siblings and others into this wonderful profession of teaching. I was also privileged to have him write a forward to one of my books: ”Swinging Emotions”.

As Uncle Obi will rightly say, in Nigeria we always forget the basis. People always neglect the fact most of the problems Nigeria has today as a nation originated from poor values and norms. Our youths who should have been our greatest asset as banners and torch carriers of both economical and political continuity have had their ship of education completely wreaked by disillusionment, strike actions and the rather disturbing quality of education they now depend on.

Now, imagine if the ”Uncle Fridays” of my primary school,, the ”stone colds” of my secondary school and the ”ike man” of my university days were at a point in time in their short careers encouraged and given beffiting awards and rewards for their outstanding works like Gov. Fayose of Ekiti will be doing today, this would certainly have spurred others in their era to do more. Until we learn that ”Teachers” are our real heroes, the ship of education in this country will continue to sink further in the ship of nothingness and moral bankruptcy.

 So guys its world teacher’s day! Who was your favorite teacher and why?

 

ONYEKABA N. Charles (arc)

Architect & creative writer.

Author of “Swinging Emotions: The poetry of my youth”

& ”Shadow of Truth”

Email: onyekabaeme@yahoo.com

Blog: http://www.charleyrosu.wordpress.com

……….FRIDAYS WITH NMA………

N/B : Chidinma Mmaduka is our new columnist and she will be in charge of this space: ”Fridays with Nma”. She is a young, exciting writer. I hope we will all enjoy her articles. Jpin her every friday if you enjoyed this and please don’t forget to encourage us.  Cheers!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Have you ever eaten an orange after which you take an apple and it feels like wow there’s no fruit like an apple but shortly after with the pineapple juice dripping through your fingers and you smacking your lips you testify that pineapple it is,none other tastes better. But u fail to realize that each fruit is different, how the heck do u compare an orange to pineapple?for crying out loud it will always be an orange! Am sure you are thinking who in his right senses does that? Right? Let me disappoint you that’s the mistake most of us make in our relationships. We feel Ade is not as tolerant as segun or Seun is more caring than Segun. We tend to compare our present partner to our ‘exes’ or ‘nexts’ if i may say while forgetting that each of them is a different individual and treated as such. Why not find out the strengths of your partner and  appreciate it instead of hanging to the flaws and comparing how poor her cooking is while your ex is excellent at it. Theres nothing as romantic as a couple recognizing each others weaknesses, understanding it and working on how to tolerate or improve on it instead of rubbing it into his /her face. If you continue at this pace of comparison, you will end up from one relationship to another without ffulfilment Rather than compare Aisha to Bola and Bola to Ngozi,why not compare them to a vision of what you want from a relationship partner. Focus on the bigger picture and you will have a better chance of meeting someone who is more fully like what you want in a partner
Have you ever found yourself in such scenarios?what was it like?Were you doing the comparison or the one being compared? Share your experience, let’s keep the ball rolling.

Article by

CHIDINMA MADUKA

Guest Columnist